Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Sins Of The Father

Are you a sinner? Most think only of liars and cheaters and murderers and thieves when we think of sinners. Or perhaps we also think of homosexuals or alcoholics. When I was growing up, my father was an alcoholic. A raging alcoholic. Not as angry as some, but much angrier than many. It was not uncommon for him to drag you out of bed to whip you at 1:00am when he got home drunk because you forgot to roll the water hose up in the front yard. It was normal for me to be sitting at the dinner table at age 7 or 8 excitedly relating something to him that had happened to me that day and to have him backhand me or thump my ear so hard I thought it would fall off because I had inadvertently put my elbows on the dinner table while I was talking. I lived in fear of those nights that he would want to slap me around just to "toughen me up" and "teach me to fight".

I grew up vowing I would never treat my children the way I was treated by my father. In my mind, he was bad and I was good. So when I inherited my father's anger and rage and let it loose occasionally on my kids by yelling at them or saying hurtful things to them, even though I felt bad later, I never felt like I was as bad as my dad. I could easily tell myself that my kids had it good compared to the treatment I got from my dad. I never hit my children. I never spanked my children. I gave my children most of the material things they asked for. I attended every school play and dance recital and performance. I told my children I loved them and I gave them encouragement and hugs. I thought I was a good dad.

But from what I've heard of my dad's dad, my dad's treatment of me was an improvement over what he got. He probably thought he was a good dad too because he didn't treat me the way he was treated as a kid. But the fact is, we are all heirs of the sins of our fathers. Whether you're a murderer or you occasionally yell at your kids, you're a sinner because you fall short of God's righteousness and what He expects of you. We are all heirs to the original sin of our father Adam and we have been sinners ever since. The heart of man is exceedingly evil, according to the Bible, and cannot be trusted. Jeremiah 17:5 says that "Cursed is the one who trusts in man..." and in verse 9 "the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure".

And yet still, we can all rise above the sins of our fathers. How? By trusting not in ourselves and pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps and reading some self-help books to make us a better person. Not by trusting in mankind. But only by trusting in Jesus Christ, God's only Son, to save you from your sins. When you do this, you become an heir to righteousness instead of a slave to sin. You can then throw off the shackles of your bondage to the sins of your father and accept the love and guidance of your heavenly Father. That's what I did. And now I'm free. Free to forgive my father, free to forgive myself. My children or your children may never forgive us for the times we sinned against them. I pray not, for if so they are only remaining slaves to sin themselves. We are never completely free of sin until we leave this world and these bodies. But we are forgiven for it by God if we trust in Him. Jeremiah 17:14 - "Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise."

4 comments:

fthrdave said...

Koolio, good to see another post.


Sinner,
Fthrdave

Life House said...

David, thank you for sharing your story with us. I like reading your blogs because you always keep it real. My question to you would be, What are some of the good qualities your father gave you? I look forward to reading your response to my question. Much Love!

David said...

Hey LifeHouse (aka Michael)! Thanks for your comments! I learned from my dad the dangers of excessive drinking, several things not to do as a parent, how to read the emotions of other people, how to be a rule follower, how to pay attention to details.... can't think of anything else right now. Good question.

david

Unknown said...

I really enjoyed this. Private person going public!!! Strong.