Is Anger Controlling You?

My friends, I have a confession to make. I have been controlled by anger. My anger is generally the quiet kind, but nonetheless deadly, both to me and those around me, especially those I love the most. I've been tortured by anger for years. Where does it come from? I don't know for sure. Certainly there were instances in my childhood growing up with an alcoholic, physically abusive father that probably contributed, but I have to take full responsibility for my anger as it exists right now today. Some days it is almost non-existent. Other days, the smallest things irritate me to no end and I tumble in an ever-increasing moodiness that I cannot seem to break free from. There are resentments over things I think should have happened but didn't, things that did happen that shouldn't have. There are the small slights of he/she did or said whatever to me and hurt me. There's irritation that people won't leave me alone or that people won't pay me any attention. There's anger that people did exactly what I expected them to do or that people haven't done what I expected them to do. There's bitterness. There's jealousy. Many times anger is a justification for me to separate myself from others. I know how to do anger. I've begged God to forgive me and now I publicly beg for those of you I've wronged in anger to forgive me also. Eventually, I'll have to make amends privately and in person. First I have to learn alot more about tolerance and forgiveness.

Pastor Young taught us in church this past week that all sins, including anger, come from selfish pride. I agree with that wholeheartedly. I have no doubt whatsoever that my anger stems entirely from focus on my self rather than on others. I'm trying so hard to learn how to die to the self and live totally in Christ, to live in this world but not of this world. For if the things of this world were not so important to me, there would be little for me to be angry about, except for those things that deserve righteous anger because they deal with legitimate wrongs against others. The words "anger" and "angry" are mentioned in the Bible almost 400 times, mostly in the Old Testament, and mostly in reference to God's righteous anger. But the Bible clearly teaches that "the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God" (James 1:19-20). Like all sin, man's anger only serves to separate himself from God and to give the "devil a foothold" (Ephesians 4:26-27). God has a will and a purpose for our lives and when we react in selfish anger, we are, in essence, telling God that we reject His will and plan for us.

We are commanded to respond to everyone with love. As it says in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs". So how can we live this out in our lives when we are consumed with anger? How can we "rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips (Colossians 3:8)" and "let your gentleness be evident to all (Philippians 4:5)? How can we remember that "the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful (2 Timothy 2:24) and "not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (1 Peter 3:9)?

An article I found at http://www.foundationsforfreedom.net/Topics/Anger/Anger04.html says there are six steps:

1) The first step is acceptance that we have a spirit of anger within us and that we want and need God to help us overcome this sin.

2) We must deal with our anger by confessing past anger and repenting from present anger. This means amends need to be made both to God and those we have wronged with our anger.

3) We must be totally willing to die to our old selves of anger, bitterness and resentment and begin to live in Christ in a spirit of love, tolerance and forgiveness. Galatians 2:20 says "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and delivered Himself up for me." This requires daily commitment to this task.

4) We must break the stronghold of anger by taking total responsibility for our anger and not minimizing or justifying our selfish anger. This means overcoming our pride and admitting that regardless of what happened to us in the past or is currently happening in the present, we have an obligation to ask Jesus to change us from within, not change somebody else.

5) We must replace anger with acts of kindness. Ephesians 4:31 says "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

6) We must make a daily commitment to deal with each day's anger as it occurs. It is important not to let our anger smolder and simmer until it gradually reaches the boiling point and scalds someone close to us who does not deserve it. We have to constantly pray for tolerance and forgiveness and resolve anger before we go to sleep at night.

My friends, these are all things that are easy for me to understand and easy for me to write, but very difficult to put into practice. Please bear with me as I undertake this journey and pray hard for me to be touched by Jesus loving hand as I struggle with these issues. Please know that I love you all dearly and I pray that the Lord will help me to focus on loving you all more in the near future.