Am I Doing Enough?

Am I doing enough? I think most Christians driven by their wish to emulate their Father, their Savior, their Lord and their Comforter, would have to say a resounding "No!". I've certainly felt more and more unworthy at times, the closer my walk with Jesus becomes. He has a way of shining a bright light squarely onto our selfish desires and our wished-to-be-forgotten sins. Recently I've been reading Jesus Freaks: Revolutionaries by DC Talk which chronicles the heroic actions of many, many Christian martyrs and other faithful servants who have put and still are putting their lives in danger for the sake of Christ. As I read their astounding stories, I'm both lifted up by them and crestfallen that I don't seem to measure up. I start to think things like "I need to be smuggling Bibles into China or sitting in a prison in Russia, proudly proclaiming my faith in the one true God and my savior Jesus Christ". But instead I am living in middle-class comfort in relative religious freedom here in America. Sure, I work for peanuts for a non-profit trying to help indigent substance abusers begin a process of recovery from their illness and I tithe and I volunteer for the church every week, etc.., but am I doing enough? I also just read "John's Story" by LeHaye, a fictional account about the apostle John's life. The most astounding stuff that John did happened when he was very old and frail in his 90's and beyond!!



It can be very discouraging at times to think about the fact that not only do I fall miserably short in comparison to Jesus, but I fail in comparison to the actions of many of my fellow Christians! Thankfully, God is merciful and knows better than I whether or not my actions measure up. Furthermore, it is not for me to compare myself to anyone else anyway. While my activities may seem safe and mundane, totally lacking in punch and pizazz, God has a bigger plan than I am aware of. It is my job to try my best to follow God's instructions, to give all that I have in everything that I do, knowing that the Almighty Creator of the universe is my employer and expects nothing less than my best. I don't think I will ever be able to say that I am doing enough, but I know that is the very thing that keeps me on my knees with my head bowed in humble submission. And that is when God works wonders through us.

Father, I pray that I will always be a willing vessel, to accept Your commands and to let you drive my actions. I pray that I will not focus on how much I am doing, lest I be in danger of falling into comfortable arrogance or jealous resentment. Help me to trust that whatever task You send me to do today, no matter how seemingly small and insignificant, that I will rush to comply with eagerness and joy and thank You for the honor to serve You in whatever way You see fit.